I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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