there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
