it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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