i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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