Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
