Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She bit a glass in half.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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