I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
