My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She's the barista slut.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
