Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
