That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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