i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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