One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
So. Much. Porn.
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