Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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