Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize