he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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