How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
