You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
