I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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