yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Farmville is her only friend.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
