we're chasing vodka with high fives
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
