P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize