He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
