Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
