Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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