you mean i was at the winter classic?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
