why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
how does that bad decision feel?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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