very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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