I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
