5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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