did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
