She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
