Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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