if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
