Who wears a wallet chain?!
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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