Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
