Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
