gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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