it wasn't lemon gatorade
Say something about gay babies.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
