Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
