He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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