sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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