sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
