To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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