You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
