i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
