Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He kissed a someone with a penis
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
