he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
