I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize