The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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