Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
