idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
