12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
