It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
