Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
