god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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