cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
no you cant smoke seaweed
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
