what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
