Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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