you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
