i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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