Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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