Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
