At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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