Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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