You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize