This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
