Plan B is the new Plan A
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize