You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
