We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
