whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
