You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
