im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Randomize
