Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
