Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
