he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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