I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
