think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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