He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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